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julia is known to the state of california to cause cancer

[ insert wall of text about inequality and climate doom here ]

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meme collection, abuse, potentially triggering imagery 

me? complicated past? sexual abuse? nooooo couldn't be me

ugh i'm already a day past injection schedule but i'm too exhausted to do anything rn
do i force myself to function

partial lyricsposting 

EDEN - Fumes

If all we have is time, then we'll be alright
It's not much, but it's better than nothing
We're running on fumes, but we'll make it through the night
It's not love, but it's better than dreaming

random middle of the night phone call rant 

i tried to call back twice, with no success, i am going the fuck back to sleep and if they fucking call me again in the middle of the night i will pick up and ask why the fuck they feel like they have to cause a fucking panic attack in the middle of the night and what the heck could be *this* important and like who the heck uses phone calls‽‽ i wanna cry

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why the FUCK is an austrian phone number calling me at shit fuck damn o clock (~2am)
and why do they not pick up when i call back

w h y

my brain, or as i've recently taken to calling it, the bad idea machine

i think quite a few people might need to hear this too tbh

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reminder to self 

you're allowed to do things.
you do not need other people's approval for every tiny thing you do.
you do not need to ask permission.
you are allowed to like the things you like, even if others dislike them.
you do not need to like everything other people like.
you are allowed to have needs.
you are allowed to ask for help.
you are allowed to say no.
you have a right to exist, and take up space and resources you need.
you are allowed to not function from time to time.

funny how hetzner having issues causes my monitoring to go down but not my instance
still, i have a blank spot in my monitoring now >:c [angy julia noises]

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