@julia Is this from you?
@julia i feel this on so many levels
@julia
>I don't want kids
>but I fantasize being a parent
So she want kids, and that's a normal biological function.
>I think what I really want is to go back and parent myself
That doesn't invalidate a need to have children.
Also that is an evaluation, not an observation. The regret about past mistreatment tends to point out that you aren't happy with yourself. Thus the unmet need is either not having children or being unhappy because of guilt on a situation that you didn't have much control over or a mix of both.
>I don't want kids
>but I fantasize being a parent
So she want kids, and that's a normal biological function.
>I think what I really want is to go back and parent myself
That doesn't invalidate a need to have children.
Also that is an evaluation, not an observation. The regret about past mistreatment tends to point out that you aren't happy with yourself. Thus the unmet need is either not having children or being unhappy because of guilt on a situation that you didn't have much control over or a mix of both.
@julia
>why do you need to comment on something where the point obviously went over your head?
Maybe because it did not.
If you did not understand what I meant by evaluations/observations I invite you to put 10 minutes of your time in this:
https://invidious.snopyta.org/watch?v=Ikb5FCZPhEU
>fantasizing about being a parent does not mean someone wants kids?
I'm speaking about biological functions. Going against biological functions indicates mental health issues and thus possible troubled past.
>you have no idea what it's like to be a trauma survivor, do you?
Do I need have to have various traumas to speak about human needs ?
Does it make one a lesser being to not be one ?
Do you want me to list all the horrible events that happened when I was 10~12 years old ? like for example torture by tearing foot nails and beaten up repetitively by some degenerate scums that didn't like that you couldn't speak their language ?
Or that my alcoholic grand mother chained me to chairs in the middle of the sun while she was getting drunk with her friend and occasionally blasting water with a hose ?
>also, can you not read bios?
No I did not. I do not read biographies of anyone, it is not my habit to engage in conversations in such manner.
> private account, ask before following (if we don't interact at least sometimes don't even bother)
Like said I did not read. I'm a simple man I like content I follow.
>i just get very bad misogynistic vibes from you
To the contrary I love woman.
>why do you need to comment on something where the point obviously went over your head?
Maybe because it did not.
If you did not understand what I meant by evaluations/observations I invite you to put 10 minutes of your time in this:
https://invidious.snopyta.org/watch?v=Ikb5FCZPhEU
>fantasizing about being a parent does not mean someone wants kids?
I'm speaking about biological functions. Going against biological functions indicates mental health issues and thus possible troubled past.
>you have no idea what it's like to be a trauma survivor, do you?
Do I need have to have various traumas to speak about human needs ?
Does it make one a lesser being to not be one ?
Do you want me to list all the horrible events that happened when I was 10~12 years old ? like for example torture by tearing foot nails and beaten up repetitively by some degenerate scums that didn't like that you couldn't speak their language ?
Or that my alcoholic grand mother chained me to chairs in the middle of the sun while she was getting drunk with her friend and occasionally blasting water with a hose ?
>also, can you not read bios?
No I did not. I do not read biographies of anyone, it is not my habit to engage in conversations in such manner.
> private account, ask before following (if we don't interact at least sometimes don't even bother)
Like said I did not read. I'm a simple man I like content I follow.
>i just get very bad misogynistic vibes from you
To the contrary I love woman.
@mangeurdenuage @julia just because you fantasize about something doesn't mean you want it.
You can have a fantasy about being a doctor and that doesn't mean you want to go to med school and preform surgeries later on in your life.
You can have a fantasy about being a doctor and that doesn't mean you want to go to med school and preform surgeries later on in your life.
@rizzo @julia
>just because you fantasize about something doesn't mean you want it.
Indeed.
>You can have a fantasy about being a doctor and that doesn't mean you want to go to med school and preform surgeries later on in your life.
Maybe you should try tho.
But that's not the point. Fantasizing a career/work is quite different from fantasizing about biological functions.
>just because you fantasize about something doesn't mean you want it.
Indeed.
>You can have a fantasy about being a doctor and that doesn't mean you want to go to med school and preform surgeries later on in your life.
Maybe you should try tho.
But that's not the point. Fantasizing a career/work is quite different from fantasizing about biological functions.
@mangeurdenuage @julia
> Fantasizing a career/work is quite different from fantasizing about biological functions.
how tho?
> Fantasizing a career/work is quite different from fantasizing about biological functions.
how tho?
@rizzo @julia
Because career/work isn't the purpose of living organisms.
The goal of living organisms is to survive.
The main method of surviving for humans is reproduction.
And that is why we have this inherent biological characteristic, if we didn't have it we would already be extinct.
Work/career as the way you put it is just another way to make a living with our current trade system.
In the many biological needs there is there the obvious water, food, shelter etc...
But work/career by itself is not a biological need. There is a need to be active in any manner tho, accomplishment of a task, especially if it meets another need.
Because career/work isn't the purpose of living organisms.
The goal of living organisms is to survive.
The main method of surviving for humans is reproduction.
And that is why we have this inherent biological characteristic, if we didn't have it we would already be extinct.
Work/career as the way you put it is just another way to make a living with our current trade system.
In the many biological needs there is there the obvious water, food, shelter etc...
But work/career by itself is not a biological need. There is a need to be active in any manner tho, accomplishment of a task, especially if it meets another need.
@mangeurdenuage @julia children aren't really a biological need for every single human. It used to be when there are too few resources and too many children, people just die because they aren't the resources to sustain them. When humans see that they don't have enough resources to take care of a child they can make the choice not to.
If people don't feel like they have the capabilities to create a healthy successful child then there's no inherent need for them to have a child.
It's not like the inherent drive to have kids will die out with select members of the population choosing not to have them. Its a choice and no one has any right to be pushy about it one way or the other.
If people don't feel like they have the capabilities to create a healthy successful child then there's no inherent need for them to have a child.
It's not like the inherent drive to have kids will die out with select members of the population choosing not to have them. Its a choice and no one has any right to be pushy about it one way or the other.
@rizzo @julia
>children aren't really a biological need for every single human
I disagree.
>It used to be when there are too few resources and too many children, people just die because they aren't the resources to sustain them
There are multiple reasons for why more "modern" people do have less to no children, what you described is one of the many there is.
>When humans see that they don't have enough resources to take care of a child they can make the choice not to.
That can be correct but it's also correct that they ignore it and do it anyway, see african countries and many more place on earth where people do not give a dam.
>If people don't feel like they have the capabilities to create a healthy successful child then there's no inherent need for them to have a child.
That is correct, the reverse also exist, people who shouldn't have children do have them anyway.
>It's not like the inherent drive to have kids will die out with select members of the population choosing not to have them.
Correct, but your genes will disappear from the gene pool.
>Its a choice
Indeed.
>no one has any right to be pushy about it one way or the other.
But one can discuss the subject.
>children aren't really a biological need for every single human
I disagree.
>It used to be when there are too few resources and too many children, people just die because they aren't the resources to sustain them
There are multiple reasons for why more "modern" people do have less to no children, what you described is one of the many there is.
>When humans see that they don't have enough resources to take care of a child they can make the choice not to.
That can be correct but it's also correct that they ignore it and do it anyway, see african countries and many more place on earth where people do not give a dam.
>If people don't feel like they have the capabilities to create a healthy successful child then there's no inherent need for them to have a child.
That is correct, the reverse also exist, people who shouldn't have children do have them anyway.
>It's not like the inherent drive to have kids will die out with select members of the population choosing not to have them.
Correct, but your genes will disappear from the gene pool.
>Its a choice
Indeed.
>no one has any right to be pushy about it one way or the other.
But one can discuss the subject.
@mangeurdenuage @julia your discussion was basically saying this person wanted kids because of a fantasy. Fantasizing is not the same as wanting.
@rizzo @julia
>your discussion was basically saying this person wanted kids because of a fantasy
I'd suggest to read the initial post again, that is not only what I posted.
>Fantasizing is not the same as wanting.
I agree but only if the story of the image set did not include the last two pictures.
Not wanting to have children and having a fantasy about an unmet biological need of having children and treating them as she wasn't treated, plus highlighting that the characters wishes that she wasn't treated negatively in the past tends to show mental health issues.
Thus the reason why the character is in self conflict and sadly suffering.
And considering the response of julia, one could consider this as projecting onself into the character in the said set of art.
I'm not saying that anybody should have a children or not, I'm just highlighting the conflicting thought/story.
>your discussion was basically saying this person wanted kids because of a fantasy
I'd suggest to read the initial post again, that is not only what I posted.
>Fantasizing is not the same as wanting.
I agree but only if the story of the image set did not include the last two pictures.
Not wanting to have children and having a fantasy about an unmet biological need of having children and treating them as she wasn't treated, plus highlighting that the characters wishes that she wasn't treated negatively in the past tends to show mental health issues.
Thus the reason why the character is in self conflict and sadly suffering.
And considering the response of julia, one could consider this as projecting onself into the character in the said set of art.
I'm not saying that anybody should have a children or not, I'm just highlighting the conflicting thought/story.
@mangeurdenuage @julia @rizzo @julia
>Not wanting to have children and having a fantasy about an unmet biological need of having children and treating them as she wasn't treated, plus highlighting that the characters wishes that she wasn't treated negatively in the past tends to show mental health issues.
Yes. The character's fantasy has more to do with the fact that she wishes she could have had better treatment and she wishes she could have given her childhood self a better time. She wishes for good parents and wants to do something she could never do which is raise herself. That's different from wanting actual children.
>Thus the reason why the character is in self conflict and sadly suffering.
I don't see the conflict. She doesn't want kids. She just wishes she could have a healed childhood. And she's an adult now, so her childhood is permanently lost. So she fantasizes about fixing it.
>Not wanting to have children and having a fantasy about an unmet biological need of having children and treating them as she wasn't treated, plus highlighting that the characters wishes that she wasn't treated negatively in the past tends to show mental health issues.
Yes. The character's fantasy has more to do with the fact that she wishes she could have had better treatment and she wishes she could have given her childhood self a better time. She wishes for good parents and wants to do something she could never do which is raise herself. That's different from wanting actual children.
>Thus the reason why the character is in self conflict and sadly suffering.
I don't see the conflict. She doesn't want kids. She just wishes she could have a healed childhood. And she's an adult now, so her childhood is permanently lost. So she fantasizes about fixing it.
@julia I.... never thought about it that way but damn I think there's something there 🤔
@julia there is a reason I'm a queer-mom ;__;
@julia Bender's First Born Son
🇲🇽
@julia Too relatable
@julia That's literally a strategy used for therapy, in the context of inner child work.
@julia that hits home
@julia being a parent makes this also very relatable. I want to be for my kids what I didn’t have growing up, but I’m still trying to change the past in doing so. It doesn’t really work.
So much this... Thank you.
My partner and me also never wanted kids. Now it would be a bit late, but it's okay
We are organizing queer events and offer spaces, information and education about queer things, open also for young (adults). I guess that's our way of going back 😊
parent-child dynamic
@julia i think some parents must feel the same. i often hear about parents using their kids as a second chance at life, which may or may not be to the child's detriment.
@julia Holy smoke is that me. It's why I don't want kids but put so much support into the juniors league at roller derby-- I want those little misfits to have the kind of coaches I needed.
@julia this is big mood