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this dream turned into a nightmare
and i'm the monster

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meme collection, abuse, potentially triggering imagery 

me? complicated past? sexual abuse? nooooo couldn't be me

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reminder to self 

you're allowed to do things.
you do not need other people's approval for every tiny thing you do.
you do not need to ask permission.
you are allowed to like the things you like, even if others dislike them.
you do not need to like everything other people like.
you are allowed to have needs.
you are allowed to ask for help.
you are allowed to say no.
you have a right to exist, and take up space and resources you need.
you are allowed to not function from time to time.

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my mh issues are tagged as "wontfix" on my bug tracker

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self quote, mh 

just having ptsd would be such a fucking relief

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lmao me, except i also have trauma and probably several mental disorders c:

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self destructive coping mechanisms feel so good because they make me feel like i fit into this broken world

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linux midi question 

🦆 how hard is it to get realtime playback from a midi device in linux

i wanna play piano through my pc instead of relying on the built-in amp

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pov: you're me staring at the ceiling while being in so much pain that you stop being able to process reality and everything goes blurry

locking this account down a little more, if you aren't following me anymore it's not personal i promise

this dream turned into a nightmare
and i'm the monster

julia is known to the state of california to cause cancer

[ insert wall of text about inequality and climate doom here ]

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meme collection, abuse, potentially triggering imagery 

me? complicated past? sexual abuse? nooooo couldn't be me

ugh i'm already a day past injection schedule but i'm too exhausted to do anything rn
do i force myself to function

partial lyricsposting 

EDEN - Fumes
----------------------

If all we have is time, then we'll be alright
It's not much, but it's better than nothing
We're running on fumes, but we'll make it through the night
It's not love, but it's better than dreaming

random middle of the night phone call rant 

i tried to call back twice, with no success, i am going the fuck back to sleep and if they fucking call me again in the middle of the night i will pick up and ask why the fuck they feel like they have to cause a fucking panic attack in the middle of the night and what the heck could be *this* important and like who the heck uses phone calls‽‽ i wanna cry

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why the FUCK is an austrian phone number calling me at shit fuck damn o clock (~2am)
and why do they not pick up when i call back

w h y

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